The First Sign of Madness

by Dead Kid Harvester

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1.
03:46
Despite the tales of creatures unknown, I spent the night alone In a haunted house out on a prairie. And in the dead gloom of dusk, Dare I say I saw a fairy. When you've seen something new, It's too late to undo The gasp at the tip of your tongue. Dressed in black, Don't try to turn back, She told me not to worry. And to my surprise, In her uranium eyes, I saw a hint of desire. There is something sweet Where forked roads meet, That a weather girl can't describe. I stood for a time Under a radioactive spell, Then plummeted into cosmological implosion. In the blink of an eye, Lonely ground and foggy sky. The rain came down, But I had nothing left to wash away. Despite the force of cold and isolation, I spent my life unwound In a hut up on a glacier. Trapped in a haunted river Of creaks and moans, The echo of laughter Too powerful for any ghostbuster. Every white breath multiplying the haze, Inching along as clocks spun like crazy. Then the altitude of my colourless pillow became extinct, And this iceberg slipped into the lively ocean. Cold and separate at first, But it feels so good to be melting.
2.
3.
Twenty-four seven, three-sixty-five. I look in the mirror, and I see horror. What the creator gave me makes me hoot 'Cause my Halloween costume is my birthday suit. No make up, no fangs, no white sheets. Every day I'm ready to go out on the street. The boys they run whenever I am near. The girls they scream in squeamish fear. Witches, gremlins, splatter guts and gore. Burnings at the cross and chambers of torture for dirty little whores. Chainsaw massacres and voodoo dolls raise a hair, But nothing can beat The scare when I yell trick or treat! Abominable cannibals, severed heads and toes. Man-eating monkeys and circus freak shows. Walk the plank swarming with killer ants. Never-ending nightmares of David Bowie in tight pants. Nothing will shake you and shock you more Than the day I come knocking at your door! Scrape your skin with iron combs, And for dessert a bath of acid. Spluttering, gurgling, 'til your mouth foams. Sickly sweet pleasure, devilish delight. I'm sorry dear, did I give you a fright?
4.
Worms of ages past, Drowned and killed in the blast. Burial ground of pink in the sea. Dying bodies in a heap. Fallout from a bright red sky. Didn't you know? Today's the day you're going to die! You send your worms to their death. The rattle of battle until the last breath. The world on fire and the sound of war. You keep coming back for more. Casualties are on the rise. Your cold heart will be your demise. Wormers wriggle around in their chairs, Tapping their keyboards like somebody cares. Burning through worms like cigarettes, 'Til one team stands up and takes revenge. No lump in your throat ever felt bigger Than when you're looking down the barrel of a bazooka. With the wind, the fighting turns. A hunger for payback burns. Don't be fooled by their size, They've got guns and you're their prize. From all directions comes a treat. Exploding sheep, revenge is sweet. Wormers wriggle around in their chairs, Tapping their keyboards like somebody cares. Burning through worms like cigarettes, 'Til one team stands up and takes revenge. No lump in your throat ever felt bigger Than when you're looking down the barrel of a bazooka.
5.
The world is in devastation, Because I forgot to take my medication. My mind is filled with spirits being killed. There are white coats and strangled throats, Hysterical fears and electric chairs. So much pain, I'm going insane. Hear me scream, for this is no dream. Hear me howl, they're taking my soul. I've ripped apart this world. You'll never see the light of day again. Follow me into this ravine, There's nothing so deranged as what I have seen. Dig down deeper defying death. Lying in bed, don't dare close your eyes, For you might fall asleep! I crawl up the walls, across the ceiling, My ooze of dread into your nightmare congealing. White. They've come to take me away and lock me up. I'm trying to find myself but now I'm in the dark. My mind is wandering, longing for freedom. For all I care I could be tied to this bed Because the chains that hold me are inside my head. You've ripped apart my world. I'll never see the light of day again.
6.
'Twas five past the turn on a ghost's annum hand And nineteen o' September were clawin' from East When a freebooter spirit plundered me lub o' the land And I traded all in for a jolly sea-faring beast. With a mess o' picaroons, blackjack to the sky, A wannion for adventure and barrels o' grog filled high, Turned dungbie to the shore, my furner an' me. Jettisoned the land and chose a seven course meal of seas. Weren't long afore we opened our account, Raping and pillaging and burning villages. Looting ourselves a gigantic amount. 'Til amongst our booty we did discover A piece of a map and then another. A red X marked the dream our minds pondered And so it set the path our ship wandered. Upon that we were seekin', the new-found greed we'd adopted Homed like it were a beacon, and so our scuttlebutt we concocted Of a sheltered cove and an island far off Barbados And nineteen paces abaft a rotten tree, Three feet o' sand and then a chest packed thick with crusadoes. Nothin' to belay me triumph short of mutiny. A thought digested too soon For I found me self at the sharp mercy o' them picaroons. The chest were big but their eyes were bigger And the idea of fair share made them snigger. Off the plank, marooned, and without a blade too. So Old Bloopbeard grew. Score and then some days, scavenging for morsels in dismay. 'Til somehow I hornswoggled Davy, my charm the only bait And Lady Luck patched a much needed salmagundi 'pon me plate: A new friend whose name were long forgot, a derelict washed in from afar, Dragging enough rags to follow the stars. With a wooden leg of a rudder, I pointed abut a half-blind course In search of more significant shores. Something worthy of bein' a landlubber for. Beached within a week, to a new home I did retreat, Wired to the jungle of copper and concrete. A pirate reborn, for the old pirate were dead. Now I keelhaul gigabytes through the tubes, Sailing digital torrents instead.
7.
8.
02:57
Insanity is what keeps you alive. Insanity gives a reason to strive. Insanity knows you need to survive. Insanity goes where you let it thrive. Sitting outside the edge of the square, Nobody knows the colour of your underwear. Looking into that square, your vision Sees a wax museum exhibition. The moon glows through the clouds, Intruding on the darkness that shrouds A people snoring like Hindu cows. Sanity is not part of me, Insanity is a party for me. Sanity is not part of me, Insanity is a party for me. Sanity is not part of me, Insanity is a party for me. Sanity is not part of me, Insanity is a party for me. Sanity is not part of me, Insanity is a party for me. In a dreamscape of diminishing gravity, You suddenly lose grip on reality. Brain cells drifting apart, Evolutionary race returns to the start. Mind bowing to the first sign. Mind crossing the thinnest line. Mind losing everything divine. Whisper to yourself, "that mind was mine..."
9.
Before you kill yourself today, Stop to think: Why'd you want to do it anyway? Don't put that gun to your head. It's much more fun killing someone else instead! I rise up from a bubbling abyss To take control of a mind that nobody will miss. Doctors prescribe chlorpromazine When what's really needed is an exorcism. C'mon caress that knife, wouldn't it be a surprise If it was an early birthday present for your wife? You sit in your parlour on a pension, Safe from us creeps thanks to electric fencing Surrounding the compound where they keep The mad ones with whom I sleep. Lock and load that gun, I'll tell you how to have fun, Splatter some brains across the wall when you point it at your son. Four walls guarding keep the sanity out. A splitting headache as you scream and shout. Programmed to commit unspeakable sins. You'll find they do nothing to keep the madness in. My chainsaw is my favourite but I can let you play with it, I really suggest you ought to put it to your daughter For a blood-curling midnight slaughter. I would so love to be the one who set you free, I charge only a minimal fee. One soul for a lifetime of satisfaction Guaranteed. So that's the story about a man named Jed. Possessed by the demon inside his head. Damned his family with a poisonous kiss. Down through the ground to that bubb-a-lin' abyss. Hell that is, torment, the underworld.
10.
01:41
Lying awake, insanity obstructing sleep. Shiver. Shake. Spasm. Still awake. Where once was a soul, There exists a hole, In schizophrenia seeps.
11.
Planet Earth will never last forever, and fighting is futile so why even bother? Tolerate your brother, live as one and prosper together into the future beyond the death of the sun. Humans are a dying species, outnumbered by living dead zombies. Caught in the tangle of a concrete jungle, the hustle and bustle of a constant jumble. I survived the delusion, and in the confusion I escaped, but souls met their conclusion as they were raped. People are puppets of production, mechanism moving, manufactured illusion. In a world of corporation, corruption, conspiracy, feelings of anger build up inside of me. Boiling blood, poison ivy to the mind, now unreasonable that which once shined. How regrettable this kind of recipe is no longer feasible. I am the Dead Kid. The Dead Kid is me. Spreading the sound of insanity. Confide in me and you'll have nothing left to wear to hide you from facing your number one fear. Divided by nothing, you know the end is near. Despite the rising tide, you slide beyond repair. You tried to fit in but now you've fallen off the edge. The spaceship is leaving, already out of reach, so sit beside me and melt on the beach! I am the Harvester. The Harvester is me. Trying to reap what I cannot see. I'm free from the strings but with my brain in a knot, the pain it stings as my conscience rots. Overcome by my weakness, incomprehensible trouble, I fade into the bleakness leaving dust amongst rubble. Where was my future? It had rusted away, I realise as I witness destiny decay. I taste my last breath as darkness is falling, smothered in the sound of death itself calling. So into nothing I slipped and slid, engulfed in eternal burning I became the Dead Kid.
12.
Let me tell you about This week's casserole. It really fills that hole. Oh but the taste Is like human waste and I Wish I'd never been born at all. Let me tell you about My relationship with Nicole. I really fill her hole. Oh but her face Is like something else and so When I bring a condom I pack a paper bag as well. A scab made out of faeces Can really stop the bleeding. Oh but the smell Is a kind of rotting hell and you Wish you'd never thought of the idea at all. Let me tell you about This week's casserole. It's like a scab made out of faeces. Scab made out of faeces. It really fills that hole. Oh but the taste Is like used toothpaste on mouldy bread so I Open a can of dog food instead. Let me tell you about My relationship with Nicole. I'm like a scab made out of faeces. Scab made out of faeces. I really fill her hole. Oh but her body Is like a giant lump of porridge so I Close my eyes and think of Mary Elizabeth Winstead instead. A scab made out of faeces Is a ridiculous idea, But if you're ever out in the woods And get mauled by a bear, Just take a shit and smear it On that stump where your arm was before. And you'll live happily ever more, But you might need some deodorant.

about

Note download comprises 13 tracks including Architecture of Aggression cover. CDs are available via contact.

The First Sign of Madness is Dead Kid Harvester's long-overdue debut album. Consisting of 61 minutes of haphazard industrial noise, it fully captures his goofy, anti-musical spirit up to this point. Vocals are accompanied by the grinding, grating and clattering of kitchen utensils and appliances. Nearly half of the tracks make use of voice as an instrument, with Chronic Halloween Syndrome being constructed entirely out of vocal noises. Apart from one recording of a broken rubber band, no two tracks use the same samples.

Dead Kid Harvester was founded in December 2000 on the idea of turning lyrics inspired by punk and heavy metal into audible songs, with kitchen utensils making up for a complete lack of musical ability. The full-length debut builds on this inept and wacky sound, sometimes incorporating dark ambient, drone and harsh noise influences. The tracks Radiation and Sleep kick off a plan to use more poetic lyrics and even poems which weren't originally intended for the purpose.

The track Architecture of Aggression, however, sees Dead Kid Harvester returning full circle back to heavy metal and perhaps finally achieving the sound imagined in the original vision. It's a Megadeth cover using an egg slicer for the guitar, a broken rubber band for the bass, a bag of flaxseeds being hit by a wooden spoon for the snare, and a dishwasher cutlery basket for the hi-hat. A plastic container, a pot lid and an oven tray make up the rest of the drum kit.

Having been recorded over the course of nearly ten years, The First Sign of Madness is a time capsule finally set adrift from the shores of New Zealand. With more influences and new ideas queuing up for their turn in the project, no other album will ever sound the same. One can only hope.

credits

released May 22, 2018

All vocals, kitchen utensils and kitchen appliances operated and performed by Dead Kid Harvester between 10th May 2008 and 14th Feb 2018, except coffee machine on Psychopathic Influence operated by an unsuspecting work colleague.

Recorded, produced, mixed and arse-stirred at Padkorea in Auckland, New Zealand by Dead Kid Harvester. All tracks written by Dead Kid Harvester, except Architecture of Aggression written by Mustaine & Ellefson and originally performed by Megadeth.

Orange t-shirt photo: Swervin' Mervyn

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Planet Bloopy Auckland, New Zealand

In 1997, the first Planet Bloopy website was launched as a place to put silly things I enjoyed. After several other websites, I eventually resurrected the Planet Bloopy name in 2003, though only in loose association with the music I was now making. However, when I needed an imprint for my noise in June 2008, it was only natural to extend Planet Bloopy and found it as a label name as well.

- Paul
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